Freedom and Facing Reality

Wow, it's over? Just kidding, it felt incredibly long. Good long though. The kind of long that you look back on and say "wow, that was a long time, I'm gonna make some celebration fruit salad". Not the kind of long that you look back on a say "ugh, that was such a long time. I need a donut."

Overall, this experience has been priceless. I now know that I don't like typing, I love photography, and I need to have face to face contact in order to avoid going crazy. I know what I do and don't want in a career, and I am grateful beyond words for this experience and the opportunities that AOIT has provided me with. I am prepared for the atrocities of reality. More or less. I still want to swim for 25 miles in the ocean and drive forever going nowhere and maybe even do yoga in the valley under the setting sun. Still, I am more prepared for reality than I once was. I still believe that I can make my reality beautiful (society hasn't quite gotten to me yet), but I believe that I have a much greater understanding of what I love, what I don't, and what I could never spend 9 hours daily doing. This is vital for my future and my career. Additionally, I realized that I am plagued with passion. I am passionate about so many things, and I need to learn to determine what is especially important to me, and what is not quite as important.

As a whole, I feel enlightened with reality and inspired by the future. I feel more certain (although still barely certain at all) of who I am and what I may want to do with my life.

Running through Roadblocks

I am my most magnificent roadblock. I am typically the cause of my frustrations. I have been frustrated with myself because I have often I put my internship on the "back burner", due to the immense amount of outside activities I have. I have handled this by forcing myself to take a step back. I am unhealthily hard on myself, and I expect perfection from no one except for my own lost self. I have found that a quick run does wonders, some yoga can cure a broken heart, and meditation clears the entirety of my mind.  
Outside of me, I have been periodically frustrated with a lack of instruction in my internship. I feel often that I am told to do something but not instructed on how to do it. However, this can also be linked back to my own internal dilemma, because I can always reach out and ask for instructions. Generally, my supervisors are very responsive to my requests for instructions.

Crazies and Candles

I am crazy. I don't understand myself. 17 years has taught me so much about the world, yet sometimes I feel so unintelligent about my own self.

My internship has taught me that I am stubborn, driven when I am passionate, and can also master the "I'll do it tomorrow" justification. I am stubborn in the sense that when I want to get something done, I won't settle for anything less than perfection. Obviously, perfection is indefinite because in my situation I am the only one defining it. However, I am stubborn in my own sense of perfection. I am also driven when I am passionate about something. If I love baking purple cupcakes, I will bake 6 batches everyday until they taste absolutely perfect. That is an awful example, but you get the point. If I want to learn a piano song I will play it 36 times daily until I can literally play it with my eyes closed. I am also a grand procrastinator. "I'll do it tomorrow" periodically dominates my thought processes. But tomorrow is already lost in tomorrow's tomorrow and etc. Consequently, I know that I need a career with a relatively significant amount of structure. In order to get myself under control, I need to maintain structure and logic in my life. Otherwise I will probably end up with 36 adopted children, purple hair, and a solely candle-light home up in the peaks of the Andes. Or something lovely like that.

Dozens of Questions

I've always pictured an office job as following:  
I wake up and manage to fall out of bed solely because I remember that I left over a chocolate donut for breakfast from the dozen I bought the night before. I eat every last bite despising the morning and drive to work mindlessly without paying mind to the spring flowers blooming and the birds singing through my window. My coffee keeps my eyes glued to the computer all day. I go home, buy another dozen. Refresh.  
I know this is a raging ridiculous stereotype, yet it plagues my mind. The internship has reaffirmed my will to never have an office job. Although there are many wonderful office jobs, I don't think they are for me. I have to be out where the grass grows and the people think and sing. I want to be able to hear their songs and hear the world through people's eyes. Consequently, I think journalism could be a viable career choice for me. I have thought about thousands of different careers, but journalism is the one that has stuck in my mind for much of my life (or at least in the past 5 years due to the unhealthy amount of pressure on kids to have their lives completely figured out). The Cougar Club Internship has also deepened my passion for journalism, people, and photography.

Growing Up?

As time has progressed, I have gained a little more responsibility. I guess I must just be growing up. Just kidding. I have been expected and trusted with more throughout my internship. My duties have remained the same, but now I am expected to handle them on my own and have a better idea of what I have to do, and when I have to do it. My internship has become even more self-driven.  
I am thankful for this in a sense because it is teaching me self-reliance. However, I do wish there was a greater amount of communication about my responsibilities and duties. I sometimes feel a little bit in the dark about what I have to get done, which is sometimes a bit frustrating. However, I am trying to learn to deal with this on my own by embracing the responsibility.

Wrestling with Success

When I wrote the following article about Jovon Jarrett, a varsity wrestler, he wrote a lovely note via Twitter about how wonderful my post was and that it was the greatest thing any one has written about him. Here is the article:

" 6 feet tall. 280 pounds. 4th in the State of North Carolina in high school Wrestling. First impressions would never reveal that Jovan Jarrett began the sport he now dominates to appease his best friend’s daily harassment.

     “[My best friend] told me every single day that I should wrestle with him, so I finally came to a practice, and the next thing I knew I was on Varsity and I fell in love,” reminisces Jarrett. “We always joke about it- I really wasn’t going to do it.”

     Jarrett discovered his passion as a freshman at the home of the Imps, and now leads the Cougars’ wrestling team as a senior. Jarrett speculates that when people first meet him outside of wrestling they fondly think, “ohhh, Jovan, so bubbly and happy.” The mat is a separate universe.

      “The aggression is my favorite part of wrestling,”  admits Jarrett. “During practice, if my drill partner gets hurt, I’ll just grab someone else and start wrestling with them.”

      Wrestling is intense. Practices are tough, physically and mentally. Sometimes “two-a-days” consume Jovan’s time. Last year, Jarrett “didn’t wrestle a lot because [he] started off with a concussion, and then it moved to [his] ankle, and then it was [his] shoulder, and then it was [his] elbow, and then the season was over.” Listening to his tales of injury and wrestling intensity, I had trouble comprehending how he remains motivated.

      “Two people are going to walk on that mat, and only one person is going to win, so why not let it be you” rationalizes Jarrett. Evidently, wrestling success requires more than a weekly one-hour practice and a dash of pixie dust. Jarrett’s weeks are not spent like much of consumerist America: indoors, inhaling pints of mint-chocolate chip ice-cream, catching up on the latest season of The Walking Dead. “If you want to be successful in wrestling, going to practice isn’t just what it takes,” explains Jarrett.

       So what does it take? Jarrett mapped out his typical weekday for me: “I usually get up, go to the gym, maybe go running, maybe lift weights. Then I go to school. Then I go to practice where we have drills and then running. Then I have to go to work, or the nights I don’t work I go to another practice. [I] have to also watch what [I] eat, go to the gym and sprint a mile, or lift. It’s what you do off the mat and on the mat.”

      Weight is not taken lightly in wrestling. In Jarrett’s words, “You can not even be .01 pounds over your weight class at a match.” Jarrett’s Saturdays are often spent traveling the East Coast, leaving trails of pinned competitors in his wake. Consequently, Saturday night is everyone’s “cheat day”. Jarrett laughed that “[On Saturday] people are always choking down food, and Monday suddenly [they] realize [they] have to lose a bunch of weight again.”

      While we spend our evenings trying to forgive ourselves for surrendering to the last slice of triple chocolate-pie, wrestlers are desperately working to lose the last pounds before match day. “Some people who are [a few] pounds over the day before a match have to do a bunch of running, and go to multiple practices”, admitted Jarrett. “And you CAN’T EAT. Not even water. It weighs a lot too.”

      Amazingly, he is still in love with the sport. “I want to do wrestling as long as I possibly can”, asserts Jarrett. “This year actually I decided that I want to be a coach. When I came to Apex people asked me for advice [about wrestling] and it actually benefited them. I want to be a coach because of that.”

     Jovan Jarrett: An Apex wrestling hero with the eye of the tiger, the heart of a teddy bear, and enough dedication to carry himself and his team to victories. Watch out."

I am most proud of my writing and the way I have successfully attracted so much traffic to the site. I have always been proud of my writing, but I never share it with anyone. The fact that people appreciate and like the articles I write and the photographs I take make me happy.

Mindlessness and Messages

My internship is not what I expected, yet I did not expect the internship to be what I expected, so in a sense it has what I expected. This makes absolute no sense, but this is my logic. The internship has been overwhelming in many ways, and sometimes I feel confused by the Cougar Club clique and the messages that are passed back and forth. However, I was also aware that this would be the setup of the internship, so this has not been a surprise.  
I have been especially surprised by the difficulty that I have had in trying to get into some sporting events and photograph. I would expect that people would be eager and willing to let me into events and photograph, but it has been difficult to position myself at some events. However, I have also been surprised by the amount of support, help, and instruction I have recieved from my supervisors in regards to these issues.  
Lastly, I have been consistently overwhelmed by the amount of data entry that I have been required to do as a part of the internship. Data entry is mindless, and I have discovered that it is certainly something I can not see myself doing in the future. I guess it is good that I am finding this out now.
However, I do not have control over much of this so I have surrendered to the madness. The data entry is a necessary evil. I enjoy the sporting events and photography, and I have learned how to better handle people to get into the events I need to.

Trouble and Thanks

There have been times in my AOIT experience in which my nightmares have been dominated by the click-click-click of the keyboard and times when I swear the constant screen-time has shortened my span of vision by at least 20 feet. However, I am forever thankful to AOIT for the skills I have gained in the classroom. Through AOIT, I know how Microsoft works, how to code websites, and even how to communicate with people in a professional setting. Although I still am haunted by the dark coding days, I have found that these hours spent in front of the computer have been priceless.

Before the internship, I wish I had gained a deeper understanding of utilizing Weebly. For my internship, I have to use a Weebly account in order to write articles and post photos. I have found that this consists of a significant amount of troubleshooting, and trial and error.

Overall, AOIT has made my internship experience significantly simpler.

Good Investments and Responsibilities

    There isn't much of a work atmosphere because primarily the work I do with Cougar Club is on my own. However, there is a Cougar Club clique of sorts that emails back and forth, and I gain my information and expectations via these emails. Consequently, it is a very collaborative atmosphere. Additionally, I am one of two interns at Cougar Club, so there is not much competition. For this reason we have a very cooperative atmosphere.

    In terms of dress code, I invested in a $25 v-neck Apex t shirt at the beginning of the internship. This was probably one of my smartest senior year investments (especially in comparison to the 35 dollar subscription I bought to a yoga website that I have used once in the past 4 months...). I wear this t-shirt along with khaki pants. Simple, stylish, and spiffy.

    The work ethic is generally very strong, and a great amount is expected of me as an intern. My responsibilities are my responsibilities, and that is that. I have to know what I need to do and when.

Shortbread Cookies and Fitting In

   Apex Cougar Club provides for 60% of the Apex High athletic budget. The county system provides only a small amount of funding for school athletics, so Apex Cougar Club was created to make up for the lack of funding provided. The group is composed of volunteers who have students who are involved in Apex High School Athletics.    

   As an intern with Cougar Club I work with these volunteers to maintain the Apex Cougar Club Website and the mobile app.

    There is also a significant amount of self-motivation and choice involved in the internship. Although I am required to post certain things, and make certain updates such as rosters, schedules, and results, much of my internship is self-created. I am able to choose how to promote Cougar Club, and Apex athletics. I could choose to host a bake sale and sell 456 shortbread cookies or I can choose to write articles about the 456 shortbread cookies that the lacrosse team sold to raise money or I can photograph the men's basketball championship game while eating 456 shortbread cookies. Whatever I choose to do, my primary goal is to attract traffic to the website. I fit in at Cougar Club in this sense.

   I choose to promote Apex High Athletics primarily through writing articles, making advertisements, social media, and website maintenance.